It’s over for a reason.
It’s past two in the morning. Crying over with still the same old reason - it’s not working. I’ve been the saddest girl in the world, with a mangled heart and the certainty that getting over him was impossible. That waking up in the morning would just mean, another day to suffer. I’ve been the girl so in love with a human being that is incapable in giving me what I deserve in a relationship. I’ve been devastated by the end of our relationship that I thought was going to last forever. I’ve suffered into endless crying, been distorted, not talking to anyone, self-esteem crushing, lost my appetite and my ability to function both work and to myself, staying fine in spite of what had happened crushed me but this things just do happened when I’m all by myself.
On the outside it looks like nothing’s wrong and the relationship never hurts me even a little, but seriously every breath hurts. Yet I’m still the only person knows it. I cried alone. I never shared nor talked with anyone with what I’m dealing with. I don’t want him to know how terribly I was with the break up. It hurts the very core of my being.
And yes, with all of this I messed up. I’m working with it now; well I’m waged with this even before. For those people asking and judging we don’t owe you any explanation, I’m not blaming everything to him nor he’s not blaming me either. I undoubtedly would tell now that it’s not us which is the problem why we broke up, but it’s the situation, it’s the pain. And please, I do understand and realize that he is hurting and you’re hurting too but please I’m just asking for your respect.
My heart is hurting and my mind wants to find a way to undo the pain. Really, sometimes I don’t need to hear the excuses or what he has to say because his actions already spoke the truth. The harsh reality is that even if we have everything else in common, still later in our relationship I lost believing that our relationship has a future. I did not leave because I’ve given up; I leave because I’ve had enough.
And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I will smile at you with bliss.
And if you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself, get a better mirror, look a little closer, stare a little longer because there’s something inside you that made you beautiful, despite everyone who told you you’re not. You’re beautiful, come on pass it on.
This is obviously a late post indeed. My apologies.
So January 17 is our last day (huhu) in QBE GSSC Taguig.
It was not the feeling you associate with leaving work. It’s was a bittersweet feeling, between moving on to a better things and leaving a small family.
I don’t even know where to start and this is more to document the memory I had with all the events that happened that day.
- We went for the farewell thing the management made for us John Clements people before we finally bid our good byes.
- Lunch prepared by QBE HR Recruitment team. Yay free food!
- And tada we presented our award winning dance performance! Kidding with the award winning part. Haha!
- Said my round of goodbyes to people I worked with.
- Started saying goodbye to people on our floor.
- Bid good byes with my hires. Huhu! </3
- Went to a dinner with the team again at Mom and Tina’s Place, which is delicious btw.
- Went to Central Makati for our Fridate night out thing.
- Went home around 12 MN.
- So incredibly blessed by these people and friendship. Most of whom had to listen to me complain, cry, get frustrated with my job and company over the last year. Seeing how excited they were for me, because they had been through it with me, was amazing.They were almost as excited as me.
I was surprised on how I ended up getting the job, but actually working there makes me know why I was hired in the first place. I was absolutely blown away by the love shown to me by these people. And I was a little surprised by some of the connections that were made.
Let’s see what I have here in Cebu.
According to what I read, liebster is the German term for dearest, beloved, or favorite. It is also said that this award is to help blogs with only less than 200 followers gain more readers. But how in the world will I know how many followers do the people I nominate have? So I will go for the German meaning of it, dearest, and will be nominating people who are close to me and I think won’t ignore this. Hahaha!
I. Link back to the lovely / amazing person who nominated you.
Hello there Elaine! It’s been a while since I had a chance to talk and see you. How are you doing? Anyway, thank you for this award. Appreciate it!
II. Post 11 random facts about yourself.
- I’d say that I have a minimalist and aesthetic style. Less is more.
- Currently staying in Cebu for a year.
I have the sweetest guy which a lot of girls are dreaming of.
- I have a bucket loads of dreams.
- I’m an observer type.
- I want to get married by the age of 26 or 27.
- I always strive to be an achiever in anything I do.
- I’m inconsistent in shaping up my lifestyle.
- I hate LDR thing but my best friend is in Australia and this guy I’m into is in Manila. Sucks right?
- I love surprises. Very much inclined with it.
III. Answer the 11 questions that person gave to you.
(Questions for Elaine)
1. How do you spend your free time?
Get moving. I always make certain that I do spent my time either working or reading or talking. Haha!
2. Music you listen to plus your favorite song.
Maroon 5 and Ed Sheeran’s playlist.
3. Would you twerk in front of your crush to get his attention? Lol.
Na ah! Definitely not on my bucket list nor in my mind. Haha!
4. Describe to me your kind of weather.
Sweater! Ugh! Bed weather. I easily get dysfunctional when the temperature is beyond what my skin could handle.
5. What was your first ever post here on tumblr? (Im guessing, is it a photo of you? lol)
Haha! Checked it pa. But unfortunately no, it’s a blog post about new beginnings.
6. Unforgettable high school memory?
Being part of university’s pep squad. Go Bombers!
7. Favorite shade of lipstick?
Just the nude shade.
8. What is the stupidest, most craziest thing youve done for l.o.v.e.?
Let my partner take me for granted. Ouch.
9. Describe the view from one of the windows in your home.
10. Name three things you love bout yourself.
My cheeks (absolutely), quirkiness and how I appreciate things.
11. Who has inspired your writing the most?
Uhm let me see, not who I guess. It’s actually the places I went to.
IV. Nominate 11 bloggers with less than
Here are some people I’m tagging with pretty things on their blog. Not necessarily do they possess below 200 followers, though.
V. Make up 11 Questions for them to answer
Here it goes:
1. Opinions on tattoos?
2. Is the future already clear to you?
3. How do you see yourself at 25 years old?
4. What are your favorite apps in your phone?
5. Which book/s would you like to see become a motion picture?
6. Do you collect anything? Like stuff or what.
7. Why and what made you stay with Tumblr?
8. Name 5 of your daily blog reads.
9. What is your blog about?
10. What’s your favorite TV series?
11. One goal you want to really really really achieve this year?
There you go! Enjoy, loves!
Ola February! I know it’s too late for the usual hello months post but hey its better late than never right? So how’s your February so far guys?
Well as you all know I’m in Cebu right now (hooray for that). For those asking I’m doing fine with all the changes going in my life but I’m somehow feeling the longing for MNL and for some people. So February usually means Valentine’s Day which is about significant others and chocolates and things but I think it’s always been the usual month for me. Enough! Haha!
Here’s a quick update for February!
- January had it’s ups and downs, and looking back on it now, I wish I had relaxed a little more and not let so many things bother me.
- Together with my two colleague I’m up again for the 21 days challenge in preparation for summmaah! Haha!
- Our apartment is good. Good enough as expected.
I’m missing someones quirkiness and everything about him.
- Our team is planning to visit Bantayan Island or Bohol this month. Too bad I don’t have my dslr with me.
- I’m trying to add more in my savings this month. Just in preparation for May enrollment. Huhu.
- Booked my trip to Boracay this coming summer! So who’s going Tumblr people? It’s a good chance for us to meet!
- God is always good. That’s never gonna change.
I may not understand today or tomorrow, but eventually God will reveal why I went through everything of these. Yes?
Sorry to bore you lately, loves. I’ll try to make it up this weekend!